When I was growing up, I always dreamt of being a "soccer mom"...that perfect mom who took her kids to all their games, sat and watched and cheered loudly! I wanted to do fun things with my kids...be creative and always spend time with them, encouraging them and loving them. I wanted to bring my kids to church every Sunday and talk with them afterwards about what they learned, and hopefully be able to pray the prayer of salvation with them at some point in his young life! I wanted to be perfect.
I have only been a mom for 3 years and I already feel like I've failed at a lot of things. I feel like I don't spend enough time with Elijah. I feel like I don't do enough creative and fun things with him. I feel like I don't read him enough Bible stories or pray with him enough or talk to him about Jesus enough. I have been FAR from perfect.
I want Elijah to think back to his childhood as a fun and happy time in his life. I want him to have good memories of the things we did together and be proud to say that we are his parents. It seems like I have so far to go to become the mother I want to be and the example for Elijah that I want to be, and now we have another little soul coming into our lives soon.
It is such a huge responsibility to have kids and to raise kids. I mean, we are the first adults they see and learn from. We are their whole world for the first 5 years of their life! I am not at all where I want to be in my walk with Christ, or as a person. And I have felt such an urgency lately to get things together so that the person Elijah remembers when he grows up is a woman who was devoted to Christ and devoted to her husband and devoted to her children. I know I will never be perfect, but I can't just let that be it. I need to always be striving to be better, if not for myself, then for my children.
I'm excited to meet this new little one that is set to arrive in October, and it does make me happy to think that even though I'm not perfect by any means, I am the perfect mom for Elijah and this new baby. God picked me to be their mom, and I feel so blessed. I couldn't ask for a better son than Elijah! He is funny and smart and sweet! He can always put a smile on my face, and I'm excited to see what this new baby's personality will be, too! :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
vikki you expressed your heart beautifully in this post. you ARE a great mom and elijah is so blessed to have you and aj for parents. don't be too hard on yourself. God will supply you with all you need to be the best mom ever. i think there are always tiems we doubt ourselves, and that is the devil trying to make us think we are incapable of being who God wants us to be.
Vikki! okay so I didn't realize you had this blog, or I think I used to know and sum how forgot! but now, I am gonna be your biggest follower! :) As you know I have a blog for Lila..thank for your post on there last week (on the birth story). Recently I was reading my sister in laws blog and decided to start one for myself! woo hoo! so then I was like, I think Vikki has one too! So I found yours on your Facebook page! So I have a blog spot to now, under kristinlugbill...look for me! so far i have barely written anything.
Okay now on a serious note. I honestly think you are an amazing mom. I hope deep down you really know that you are. I mean just look how happy Elijah is! that is proof enough. And every time I talk to you, you are doing something fun with Elijah. So don't feel like you have failed, cause you are an AMAZING mom. I look up to you as a mom. For example, I remember once asking you how Elijah was so happy and responsive and you told me you didn't know but you talked to him a lot when he was a baby and just told him everything you were doing. Well, i do that with Lila now too, because of you. Anyway, i know you know you are a good mom, i just wanted to tell you again, you are amazing! I love you and look forward to catching up on your BLOG! ha ha saying blog like a robot is fun, i did that out loud right as i typed the word BLOG.
Ps...you look like a rabbit :)
Post a Comment